ashley pov

well paula just called me and im not sure of what too do mine and paula’s relation ship is well complicated to put it lightly.i guess i should explain a lil bit more well it all started one night i was going ove to spencers but when i got there she wasnt there paula said she went to maddiosions i stated that i hated her then we started talking and drinking well i was buzzed but not drunk  paula was talking about how arther is never home and how he dosnt want her i went sat down by her and tryed too make her feel beter by saying how it wasnt her and how great she was the next thing i know is her lips on mine i found it strange that i kissed her back right away with no hessitation but i brushed it off as a natural reaction,well anyways i guess the fact that she was my girlfreinds mother didnt matter ny body was getting hot just kissing her and she started to lean down on me so i took this time to stand and try to talk to her first"are you sure i mean your married and im your daughters girlfreind"i said to her trying to remind her of what we were doing is wrong"i know but im just so lonley no one is ever hme and when they are they just leave again im always alone i just need someone""i think we need to stop before this gets anyfurther""but what if i want it to go further""well i ummm……""ashley please just this once"i dont know why but i broke down maybe it was her eyes her pout or the fact that i know what its like to be lonley with noone too take care of you noone to feel close to.so i gave it to her but thats it anyother night she came to me drunk we kissed got undressed made it too bed and she broke down crying on me the next morning or when she sobered up she would go home and act as if nothing happened she thinks that everytime she comes to my house we have sex but we dont just that once the most we do is kiss and thats what she remembers thats why i couldnt keep up with spencer her mom was more and more depressed everyday and its not like i didnt try to end this i did but she pulled me in again but everytime spencer would touch me i would remember paula and how heart braking it would be for her too find out and i didnt want to hurt her anymore i didnt want to feel guilt or anything but i would never tell spencer her mom was having an affair but now that she knows i dont know what to do should i try to explain myself to her or just tell her the whole truth and walk away becouse i know she would never want me after ive put her through all thisthere is a reason i told her i slept with aiden instead of saying your mom it would break her heart and i wouldnt be sure on how to handle it.well i guess its time for paula to know the truth when she gets here.

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i know you all hate me for it being so short but its mostly  a filler till i come up with what i want its a lot harder to write then it looks.thanks for the comments thats what keeps me writting so please comment more tell me what you want and ill try and figure something out.

tbc