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    Why? – (Chapter: The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul)

    Story written on August 7, 2007 by jordansonny1.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
    fanfiction(s):
    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 2362
    Story Shortlink: https://mail.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=15527
    Author Notes:

    Spencer is raped and has to deal with it but even worst she has to tell Ashley and face the effects it will have on their relationship

     

    "Life and death, energy and peace, if I stop today it was still worth it.
    Even the terrible mistakes that I have made,
    and would have unmade if I could.
    The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul,
    it was worth it for having been allowed to walk where I’ve walked.
    Which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth,
    back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it and above…"

    Gia Marie Carangi 1960-1986

     

    After Ashley left I could smell him on me… thinking of her touching me while his smell was still on me made me sick. He was wearing this spicy aftershave. I knew the fragrant. It was really popular. I knew every time I’ll smell it I was going to remember what had happened to me… I have to take a bath.

     

    I am scrubbing away in the shower trying to get he’s smell off me, but it didn’t, not really. I feel dirty, not because I was a dirty girl who had been raped, it was because I felt his disgusting hands on me and I couldn’t rub him off.

     

    "Spencer come down for dinner" my mom shouts form downstairs I collected myself and got out of the shower, and back to hell…

     

    "Hi sweetie how was it last night?" my dad asks the one question I dreaded.

    ‘Just lie, you can do that’ "It was fine. A lot of laughs" the cynicism was lost to everyone but me, but I did it, I lied perfectly.

     ’This lying thing is not so bad, I’m good at this’. I told myself not so sure how to feel about my new found understanding. I could never tell anyone what happened. I know, I know… you’re thinking; ‘you have to tell someone’, ‘it’s not good keeping it inside’ well I can’t! I know what I should do but I can’t worry them. I don’t even know the person who did this to me, so there is no point. The police will never catch him and it’s over. nothing anyone will say or do can make this "thing" go away and not be real. As much as I’d love to think Ashley can take my mind off of anything…

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    Comments

    4. I love this story.i wonder where its going to go?will spencer tell ashley or will she keep it bottled up inside? who knows what could happen. PMS PMS!

    10. I love this story.i wonder where its going to go?will spencer tell ashley or will she keep it bottled up inside? who knows what could happen. PMS PMS!

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