After dinner
Iolaus insisted that he and Hercules have a talk outside while the
girls cleared up. Since Gabrielle and Iolaus had compared notes
before dinner, Iolaus went straight for the dirt.

"What is
going on with you and Xena, Herc?"

“storytext”>"Huh?"

"Come on,
don't 'huh' me, I know you too well. Something has been
up between you two since you guys got here and I want to know what
it is. Are we dying? Is the world ending? Is there a massive
outbreak of man-eating-tuna?"

Hercules
couldn't keep from laughing at that one. "No, no, and no.
No man-eating-tuna that I'm aware of, anyways. I'm sorry,
Iolaus, Xena and I have both been a little distracted recently. But
you've gotta understand it's nothing to worry about. Just
please don't ask for an explanation. Not right
now."

"It's
not Gabrielle, is it?" Iolaus was suddenly alarmed. Hercules
was glad to see his friend's worry.

"No, not –
well not really." Iolaus relaxed and Hercules couldn't
resist. "You two getting along?"

“storytext”>"Yeah," Iolaus laughed. "We always have.
You know, well… you know how it's always been between
us."

"No, I
don't know," Hercules pressed.

"I've
been in love with her since the very beginning. First time I saw
her at that stupid tent. And since she's been here I just keep
getting these ideas in my head. They won't go
away."

"What
ideas?" Hercules was truly intrigued and had no idea just how
dangerous this conversation was getting.

"Getting
married. Settling down. Breaking up the partnership to sit at home
and raise – I don't know – plants. And chickens. And
children." Iolaus laughed. "In that
order."

Hercules smiled
at his friend's humor but it dropped quickly when he saw Cupid
appear just over Iolaus's shoulder.

"Hercules,
what's wrong?" he didn't like the way Hercules's
smile had suddenly faded.

"It's
nothing. I better go back inside."

'Yeah,
I think you better, Uncle Herc,' Cupid said. 'I
had to drop in before you opened your mouth again. Just be glad it
was me and not another Fate.'

Hercules
wondered what his nephew meant but now was definately not the time
to ask. Iolaus was obviously ignorant of the Love God's
presence.

"Hercules,
are you out of your mind? I told you I might want to quit this life
altogether. That doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Iolaus,
it shouldn't matter what it means to me."

'Good,
Unc. That was good. Keep going with that.'

" What
matters is what you think. You are thinking of breaking up our
partnership to get married, it should be your decision. Don't
you remember Serena?"

"No.
Who's Serena?"

'Nice
one, Uncle Herc. Referencing the wife that never happened.
Smooth.'

“storytext”>"Nevermind. The point is that if you want to get
married, it should be your decision."

"Yeah, but
I gotta know what you think."

“storytext”>"Why?"

"Why!
Because you're my friend! I don't want to make a decision
like this without hearing your opinion. Sweet gods above,
you're worse than Xena." Iolaus groaned and sat
down.

“storytext”>"Xena?"

"Yeah.
Gabrielle said she couldn't get anything out of her either. She
kept saying she won't interfere, she won't interfere…
Unbelievable." Cupid finally disappeared and Hercules could
exhale.

"Iolaus,
Xena and I just don't want to influence you on such an
important decision. You two need to decide for
yourselves."

"Yeah
whatever," the hunter huffed and Hercules left him alone with
his thoughts. The demi-god went around the side of the house where
he found his nephew waiting.

"Cupid, do
you know how distracting that is?"

"Gee, Unc,
no word of thanks? Look if I hadn't showed up when I did it
would have been another Fate."

"Wait,
what do you mean another one?"

"Xena
already got a dose of the Maiden this afternoon. This time it would
have been the Mother and if you slipped one more
time…"

"We'd
see the Crone," Hercules nodded in understanding.
"That'd mean it's all over." Cupid
nodded.

"You guys
gotta come up with something quick, because we can't be popping
in and out to keep you two from sticking your foot in your
mouths."

“storytext”>"Alright," Hercules sighed. "Tell your
Mom we'll be back tomorrow. It looks like it's all going in
the right direction anyway. I just wanted to help."

"I told
you, Unc. They don't need help, they already love each other.
Just let them be for a little while longer."

Hercules nodded
reluctantly and the Love God disappeared.