ASHLEY:

“You did what?!”

“Calm down, dude. This shit happens everyday. To be perfectly honest, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened to me before now. I mean, especially since I’m fucking hot.”

Aiden stared at me. Mouth agape. Eyes wide. Hair perfect.

Oh yeah, like he had never gotten drunk and then married.

Pussy.

“Ok, wait. It was Spencer that you married, right? Not someone else?”

“Nah, it was Spencer. The blonde with the epic tits and the killer voice.”

“Wait a minute. Do you like, actually like her?”

“What? Because I think she has a nice pair and a sexy voice? No way, T.G. If that was all it took I’d have lost my virginity to Ursula from ‘The Little Mermaid.’”

“Wow. Alright, so you’re married. Now what?”

“We both live in the Bay, so we’ll handle all the annulment stuff up there and then it’s done.”

“And then it’s done?”

“Done, dude.”

“What about the audition? How did that go?” he asked, pushing the rest of his steak around his plate with a fork. That guy never finished a meal. It was like being best friends with an Olsen twin.

“I’ll put it this way. This dinner’s on me, Tiger Beat.”

“Seriously? You got it?”

I nodded, smiling like an idiot, “You know it.”

“Ash, that’s awesome! I’m so proud of you,” he exclaimed, reaching across the table to hug me.

“Alright, alright, alright! Take it down a notch, Oprah. It’s just a job.”

Both we knew it wasn’t just a job. This was a forty-eight minute-a-week drama where I could finally show off my acting chops. I had been waiting a long time for an opportunity like this, and now here it was.

Finally.

“Fine. But I’m happy for you. I hope you know that.”

“I do.”

“Good. Now if you don’t mind me saying, you’re absolutely screwed.”

Whoa, what?

“Great. You want to tell me why?”

“Spencer.”

“I seriously don’t want to hear that name right now. We’re supposed to be celebrating my success, remember?”

“Ah, already avoiding talking about the ol’ ball and chain, huh?” he laughed, “that’s hilarious.”

“I’m not laughing.”

“Of course not. Because you got drunk off your ass and then made of the biggest mistakes a drunk person can make. I wouldn’t be laughing either.”