Chapter 5: The First Day of My Life

From: TrojansNotNeeded
To: adhasnovds
Subject: Application for friend

Name: I know this sounds ridiculous but I can’t tell you my real name. I’m a superhero and I must preserve my secret identity. But if you want to call me something, you can call me Bradshaw.

Age: Eighteen years old and fully legal to vote. You can expect me to get my ass out there and make sure that those homicidal closet cases called Republicans don’t get back in office.

Appearance: Well, I’m blonde but don’t let that fool you. I have my moments like everyone else but I’m pretty smart and I’m class president. I have blue eyes but they aren’t the amazing Caribbean blue that you see. They’re more of a gray raincloud before a thunderstorm blue.

Height: About 5’7’’ I’m pretty average in the height department. Though I have no idea why height would matter in a friendship.

Weight: Okay I know that doesn’t matter. And who would actually admit their weight?!

Favorite Movie: This is vaguely reminiscent of my profile survey? But I’d have to say that my favorite movie of all time is Jaws. But DEBS is a close second.

Favorite Food: Well, I really like Indian Tacos. I guess the PC term for it would be Native American Tacos? They’re so amazing. These things are made on fried bread, like the kind they use for funnel cakes and they have seasoned beef and all of the toppings on them. It looks almost like a little taco cake but I can never say no.

Worst Habit: Oh this is really embarrassing but it’s probably okay to tell you since the odds that we’ll ever see each other face to face are slim. I have this old blanket from my baby days and when I’m alone in my room trying to fall asleep I take the binding in between my fingers and press down on it until it makes a crunching noise. I’ve always done it and I’ve never really been able to break it.

If you were an animal: I would be a bird. Maybe a hawk of some kind, but I would totally be a vegetarian hawk. The thought of ripping the head off of an innocent little mouse is just a little upsetting. But I would love to fly away from here sometimes.