My head was spinning. She’s back? How could she be back? It’s been two years! I think I might be sick. I walked disoriented to my car. The keys kept slipping in my hands because they were beginning to sweat and shake. I rested my head on the wheel. I could see the mixed emotions in Aiden’s eyes, the accusing look. 

She killed yo-

No. 

I didn’t drive anywhere. I just sat there through calc and English. 

Just because I’m not there, doesn’t mean I’m not with you…

What happens now though? 

Taking my hands off the wheel, I stepped out of the car. I walked the deserted halls to my last class. The bell would be be ringing in few minutes anyways. My heels clicked eerily on the pavement. Even though it was still August, my faded jeans felt too cool. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, coming to the sleeves by my elbows. I pulled on them, then flexed my fingers and repeated the motion until I met the black fabric again. 

Memories violated my mind. It was like I couldn’t block them out no matter how hard I tried. I could even feel them. Lips and touches and promises. I dug my hands feebly into my pocket and rubbed the back of the cool metal I found there. This had become what I always did this when I was nervous. I pulled it out by the black cord and held it gingerly. I wasn’t moving anymore; I was just staring at it. The cord wrapped around the titanium piece. It was like a bolt, but circular and an inch in diameter. It was a necklace that some guys would probably wear. I didn’t care though.

There were three black markings at the bottom. I remember asking her what they meant. She ran her hand over them as I was doing now and smiled back up at me. 

Something that I don’t have enough of.

Strength. That’s what it really meant. She finally told me, or maybe I just figured it out… 

I shivered slightly as the cool metals shocked my skin. Wearing it again felt comforting. Even so, I didn’t feel like going to psych, but I couldn’t just stand here. Taking a deep breath I began to feel calmer. Well, I still felt like I might throw up, but at least my hands weren’t as shaky. I tried to look on the bright side. At least there was a new psychology teacher this year. Maybe he wouldn’t treat me like glass. 

One minute and the late bell would be ringing. My hand twisted the nob and I practically fell into the classroom. The teacher looked up from his sheet of paper and over the top of his glasses. He was must have been in his late 50s.

"That class, would be an example of sheer panic." He smiled over at me. "Spencer Carlin?"

"Here." I mumbled weakly. 

"Fourth seat in the last row." Mr. Lakey continued on about what we would be learning this year. He was very exuberant. I actually liked him.

"We’ll also -" He rolled his eyes as the bell rang. "Ok, never-mind. Have a great afternoon kids." Heaving my increasingly heavy bag over my shoulder I headed towards the door. "Spencer?" I turned around to meet the teacher’s smiling eyes.

"Sorry about almost being late. I’m norm-" Mr. Lakey held his hands up.

"Don’t worry. It’s the first day of school. I get mean on the second so this is like a freebee." He joked. 

"Thanks."

"Actually I was wondering if you would do me a favor?" I shifted a little but asked what he wanted me to do. "There’s a new student, Abby I believe, that will be starting school tomorrow, but she’s coming in after school for a tour. I offered – to be nice since none of the other teachers seemed very keen on the idea – but I have absolutely no idea where anything is. Would you be willing to show her around to her classes?" 

"Um, yeah, sure." I smiled awkwardly. I didn’t have anything to do after school. I can just get my mind off of everything, show the girl around, go home and then throw up my lunch. Fun!

"She should be here any mi- Oh! Here she is." I smiled politely and turned around.

My face fell, my heart pounded in my ears and my blood ran cold. Over two years of feeling lost, broken, and alone. I spent that time trying to forget about her, but how could I  when she was in my every though and dream? 

"Ashley." I choked out the one name of the girl I had been thinking about for two years, four months and 19 days.