Today I wished, we would have talked with each other, would have arranged us before the avalanche which rolled there towards us. I am sure that there would not have been then Candace and your night escape. I wished, I could turn back the wheel of the time, you in the arm take to give you the feeling that it is not necessary, that to carry you everything only most sluggishly that I am strong enough, also a part of the load. I wished, we could have talked about your job and how many problems Franklin did to you. Maybe we would have thought together a way that you finish with the pressure with which he encumbered you over and over again. Maybe a break would also have been good for you sometimes, and then I would just have searched for myself a job. However, maybe there would also have been quite different ways. I mean, nevertheless, we both have not taken root, however, not engaged to this pattern, not by contract chained to these roles. I wished, I could talk with you about all this, thought about all many ways which I have only already found during the last two years during me about that.

‚Not took root? Not engaged? Not chained?’

However, apparently we were this, you were ostensible so much with it occupies the roots to anchor, to check the knots and to oil the chains that to you at all did not come to the sense which we do not need all that at all that the solution would have been to smash them, to untie and to sprinkle. And I, I … I did nothing! Even then I faced unconsciously, but to act more badly still than nothing, to do more badly still than me my own puppet, was the fact that I have not seen it or did not want to see? The fact that I have closed the eyes and ears before it and have watched how the decay progresses on and on, Bette, I will never forgive myself.

Oh Bette where you are only I miss you so much. If I could look, nevertheless, only once in your eyes, could hear saying once only you that your love is great enough to be able to forgive me, once only …

… the end could detain!