EDWARD CULLEN

Twilight again. I walk along the streets, passing couples sitting on benches and my mind drifts off to memories of her. My angel. My life. My Bella.

Only, she was not mine anymore. After that episode with Jasper, it was too much for me to bare the hazards I had brought upon her life. She could have so much more than me. A normal life. A happy life, with no secrets to keep from her family.

I left her thinking it’s for the best– for her safety. But she didn’t know that.

Bella thought I had left her for all the wrong reasons. She thought I left her because I didn’t want her anymore— that I had stopped feeling incomprehensibly strongly for her and moved on. As if that were even a mere fraction of a possibility.

This pained me to an extent I never could have imagined possible. I could see it in her eyes— she truly believed all the lies I said to her, all the lies which were oh so implausible to happen.

Never have I loved anyone so strongly that my whole existence depended on that person. Before Bella, I thought that my eyes were as clear as they could get, that I was content and complete and whole. But I might as well have been blind. Bella brought light into my life, enabled me to see things I couldn't have seen before. But now that I left, everything I laid eyes on were clouded. Nothing was rational. My life– the path that stretched before me was a mystery, engulfed by the darkest of the dark and went on and on without direction. Bella was my guide, my eyesight, everything I needed to survive, to live. I couldn’t even bare the thought of an eternity without my Bella.

I laughed humorlessly at the irony of that thought. Yes, I couldn’t stand the thought of an eternity without her, but here I am living a worthless life without her by my side.

But who was I deceiving? I wasn’t living. I was just existing. Empty of all thoughts but those of Bella. Empty of all emotions but of the love I feel for her.

I was a selfish monster who wanted nothing more than to be beside her again— to stroke her hair, to see the beautiful blush on her cheeks, to hear the acceleration of her heartbeat caused by a single touch from me, to be lost in those magnificent eyes that exuded love for me that I did not deserve.

“Edward, you are not a monster.” I froze at the sound of Bella's sweet voice.

Bella could never have known I was here in Denali, moreover knew exactly what I was thinking. I turned around not knowing what to expect. But there was no Bella there. Just ordinary people rushing to go to their destinations.

I sighed as I longed to hear her voice again, no matter what implications it might have on my brain functions. I was thinking of her too much; hearing her voice crystal clear inside my mind, an exact copy. This was a problem. I needed a distraction, something to preoccupy myself with. Then a reasonable idea hit me.

I would go back home tomorrow to Carlisle and the others and prepare myself for a long trip. Victoria was still out there, lurking somewhere. Possibly even wanting to… a growl started inside my chest before I even finished my trail of thought.

The only way to ensure Bella’s safety from external forces— I could not protect her from self- induced accidents now— was to get rid of Victoria.

Laurent was already trying our vegetarian life. Tanya’s clan would take care of him.

I didn’t know where Victoria was right now, but I would search everywhere for her. I was going to try my hand at tracking.