"Kim…."

"It seemed like it took forever to happen– him to come through the windshield—even longer for me to get to him. Kerry…" She turned devastated eyes to her ex-lover, and Kerry fought the urge to wrap Kim in her arms just for a moment, just until the shaking stopped. "The glass sliced him up so badly, I couldn’t find any skin that wasn’t lacerated. But when I checked his pulse, it was there– thready and weak– but he was alive." She took a steadying breath, held her head up a notch higher and suddenly didn’t seem so fragile. "I wasn’t going to hold his hand and watch him die. Not again. I could help him this time."

"You did," Kerry confirmed softly. "You saved his life. But…"

"But?" Kim interrupted incredulously. "There is no but."

"But… you’re not a trauma doctor," Kerry continued, hating what she was saying even though the truth wouldn’t let her say anything else. "Carter was right, you should have stepped out once you got him here." Kerry paused. "I should have made you."

"Every six months…"

"You have to update your triage boards. I know. But Kim, you’re not a trauma doctor. You don’t have the skills to be in that room." Kim turned away and irritably jerked a scrub top at random from the locker, pulling it over her head and refusing to meet Kerry’s imploring gaze.

"You must find me incredibly useless," Kim murmured softly, wiping absently at the stains on her jeans. "Honestly. There really isn’t a comparison, is there? You put your hands in someone’s heart and bring them back to life almost every day. When all you see me do is ask them how they feel about it." She sighed exhaustedly and picked up her discarded clothing. "No wonder it’s so easy for you to question my judgment."

Kerry rocked back in astonishment, the melancholy enervation in Kim’s words paralyzing her. She reached out an imploring hand to the psychiatrist, but Kim was already out the door. Kerry ruthlessly stifled the impulse to follow her ex-lover, aware of both the half-dozen people at the admit desk pretending not to have seen them and that Kim very likely wouldn’t hear what she was saying– if she even stopped to listen.