There would be no steam in this shower today, I thought as I turned the knobs that sent gushes of icy water from its depths. I ignore the pain that jerks through me as my body rears against the too cold spray. I wait for the pain to subside, or at least be numbed.

Metaphors aside, it had been a good idea, until I had stood so long under freezing water I had practically turned blue and caught the worst flu of my life. But I had been mesmerised by my own skin, as pale as it was anyway, the cold water had chased away any remnants of colour that held beneath my skin. I looked… I looked like Edward – and it was his voice this morning telling me; Stop it Bella, stop it now.

I tried to ignore him as I watched my forearms, a slight flush still spread under my skin, Bella, this is ridiculous. You’re ridiculous.

I’m ridiculous?, I replied angrily, you’re just a voice, a voice of a past I’m trying to forget! Pain sliced its way through my head as the chill reached my face. I pressed my palm against my temple to try and ease the pain but it wouldn’t stop. Please stop Bella, Edward’s voice pleaded with me as I finally shut off the water.

The thing was, I’ll do it all again tomorrow…just to hear his voice, telling me to stop.