The sobs were coming more and more as my father’s hand slipped from my own and clutched at the blanket squeezing until his knuckles were white. I felt my own eyes tear up as my father cried in front of me.

When my father’s sobs began to subside I reached out tentatively to touch his shoulder. He shivered slightly and wiped his eyes on his shoulder. He sat back and looked down at me with bloodshot eyes and a broken smile.

“Have you talked to Cecily?” I asked hesitantly.

My father shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He sat back in his chair and let out a deep sigh.

“She wasn’t home when we called so your mom and I left her a message to meet us at the hospital.”

I was sure that Cecily would be just as devastated as we were to find out her son was gone. The son she had just started to get to know better. I just wondered what it would have been like if Clay hadn’t found her. She never would have known how wonderful her son had turned out to be.

The anger rose up inside me every time I reminded myself how innocent Clay was in all of this madness.

“Dad…do you think I could…” I didn’t finish my sentence and looked down at my hands.

“What honey?” He asked reaching out to take my hand.

“Do you think I could tell Cecily?”

“I don’t know honey. This is a very delicate subject and I know you are really hurting right now. I think it would be better for me to talk to her.”

I nodded my head understanding how right my father was. I could see his strength return and I knew that his small breakdown had helped him for now at least.

“Why don’t you get some rest? We will be right outside the door if you need us. And I think Ashley will be here for awhile too.”

I looked down and nodded.

“Spencer? Did something else happen tonight?”

“It’s not that important…I’m going to go ahead and get some sleep. When you find Cecily tell her how sorry I am and how loved Clay was by everyone.” I said letting a tear fall down my cheek.

My father nodded and headed towards the door. He opened it and looked back once more before shutting the door behind him.

I turned my head and sobbed into my pillow. My emotions were getting the best of me and I closed my eyes to try to escape the pain at least for a moment.

****

“Ashley?” I opened my eyes and tried to focus on the figure that was hovering over me. My back was in a weird and uncomfortable position as I sat in the hospital chair.

“Hmm…” I said rubbing my eyes.

A hand touched my shoulder as I felt the person take a seat next to me.

“I think you should head home for a little while.” Mr. C.’s voice told me softly.

“No I can’t leave…Spencer needs to know I’m here for her.”

“She knows…I told her that you were here. I just think that you should head home and get some sleep and change. You look exhausted.” He said with a soft and concerned look.

I nodded back at him and stood up. I stretched my knotted muscles and looked back down at where he was sitting.

“Can I go in and see her really quick before I go?”

He looked at me with a soft look and nodded. “She should be sleeping so please just try to let her rest.”

I walked over to the door and opened the door slowly. I saw Spencer curled up on her side facing away from the door.

I walked over to her bed slowly and looked down at her face. I saw the scratches on her forehead and leaned down letting one of my fingers trace one softly. Her body shivered in response and I leaned down to give her a soft kiss on her cheek.

“I love you Spencer…” I whispered into her ear.

I stood up and looked back at her once more before I headed out of the room to head home and change. I would be back there was no question about that.