I’m at the door and about to turn the doorknob and that’s when I hear something. I press my ear on the door.. I hear moaning and some grunting. I turn the doorknob and slowly open the door. The moans become louder. The windows curtains were pulled closed. Darkness encasing the entire room leaving only a few rays of light.

My mind is going into overdrive, I can’t believe this. I hear panting and hear someone..

“ oh god…” i hear a male voice say. oh no I know that voice. It’s one I’ve heard so many times telling me that he wasn’t after my girl. Yet here he is moaning, grunting as he’s moving inside her. I can’t see them clearly only their shadowed silhouettes. But I can see she’s the one on top of him, her hair drenched on her back.

His shadowed hand on her hips running up and down her sides and back. Their breathing is loud, filling the silent room. But the only sound I hear in my ears is the rapid beating of my broken heart. They don’t see me or notice me standing in the door way. They’re so engrossed in finding their release in each other. I’m frozen in place. I can actually feel my heart shattering into small pieces and something break in me.

I tear my eyes away. Closing them tightly but I feel tears escape and fall down my face. My heart feels numb, shocked. I turn around and run out of the house not bothering to close the doors. Not letting myself look back I just run. I don’t know why I didn’t just start yelling at them or even just let my presence be known. I have no other reason except my heart was breaking.

I reach my house and rush to my room I throw myself on my bed. My tears still staining my face but my eyes are dry. My strength the one people have always said I had is gone, replaced by nothing but an empty void . My head resting on my bed facing my closet. I don’t remember walking towards the closet, I only know that I’m in front of it. I open the door and reach behind some clothes until I can feel a shoebox. I pull it out bringing it close to me and take the lid off.

Inside is a bottle of tequila Ash had given me thinking it’d be fun to see me tipsy especially with the possibility of being caught . I peer up and down the bottle, gingerly touching it. I pull it out and take the top off. Placing it close to my mouth letting the rim caress my lips. I take a swig of it and feel it burn down my throat. But at this point I don’t care.

I let it fill me let it blur my mind. I sit on my bed with bottle in hand. I look around my room I can’t turn around without seeing a photo of her. I lift the bottle against my lips again. I want to erase what I saw , erase the moans I heard. She’s taken away something from me, something I don’t think I can ever get back. My innocence.

I drink and drink until darkness clouds my vision and I no longer care. I don’t feel myself fall back on my bed. I don’t feel anything.