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    Reluctance – (Chapter: My Arms Weak And Can’t Hold You)

    "I can’t depened on you, cause that’s one of my problems."

    "It’s not depending on me Ashley, it’s letting me hold you so you can take a break from the strength you have to make sure everyone sees you have."

    "It’s not tha-"

    "Stop and let me hold you befopre I throw a fit." she chuckles at first, but soon stops and just looks at me.

    I can see the pain now, I can see that she’s put her walls down and has let me inside for real this time. I knock on her chest gently and say ‘knock knock’. She smiles at me and scoots down to where her head is on my chest and my arms are still tightly around her waist. She sighs and I feel her breath through my shirt. It’s comforting, this position is the best one I’ve ben in with her.

    "I love you," she gently whispers.

    Instead of saying it back I tell her to rest and she shakes her head.

    After a few hours of her sleeping and doctors coming in and out to make sure she was okay my mother comes in with a bag of Del Taco food and sets it on the table. My legs and almost my entire body is asleep but I still refuse to move. It’s not everyday I have been able to hold her like this and I’ll take advabtage of it while I can.

    "Hey sweetie, how is she?" my mom whispers.

    "She’s okay……… tired I guess."

    "It’s usual after lossing a lot of blood and surgery…… plus all he pain meds they have her on."

    "yeah, I’m sure she’s liking them though." my mother gives me a look and I blush.

    "I don’t want to know what Ashley likes, I do want to get to know her, but I fear that I might know too much too soon." I laugh at her quietly and throw a plastic fork at her.

    She catches it and tells me that conduct like that is unacceptable and I will have to leave the room. Her face is stern and I start to freak out, trying to say a bunch of ‘but mom’s’ while I can but she silences me.

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    Comments

    1. hhaha me want go sleepy sleep on my booby pillows…lmao that was awsome :) Good update girl….i loved it…Paula kinda weirded me out a little with all the acceptance tho…w/e post more soon!

    2. Ashley sleep talking, now there is something Justin Timberlake and her have in common.HAHA.” Uh huh, specially since I have booby pillows.” I’m def. going to put that on my Myspace headline. Keep it up, Girl!! Please post very, very soon!?!

    3. hhaha me want go sleepy sleep on my booby pillows…lmao that was awsome :) Good update girl….i loved it…Paula kinda weirded me out a little with all the acceptance tho…w/e post more soon!

    4. Ashley sleep talking, now there is something Justin Timberlake and her have in common.HAHA.” Uh huh, specially since I have booby pillows.” I’m def. going to put that on my Myspace headline. Keep it up, Girl!! Please post very, very soon!?!

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