Chapter 11

Again, tears flow down my cheeks. I’ve accepted Edward’s death. It’s what he wanted. I still have him within me, and that’s what matters. There is no way I could ever forget him. I love him still, even though it’s not the love that would have kept us together.

The white coffin is lavishly built. The Cullens had wanted a see-through coffin, but of course Edward’s body was enflamed, so it is closed. It is made out of marble. I wear my bracelet, the heart still on it. That is where it will stay. Rain patters on every surface, making the freshly dug grass mud. Brown. I had said I missed brown. Here it is. It is getting late. The Sun is starting to set.

Everyone is here. Everyone in the senior class, the Quiletes, Tanya’s family, my friends, and my mom and Phil. Even Mike is here, and he is sad. The atmosphere seems to sense the loss the world has taken. Everybody feels it. It hangs in the air like a poison. The whole ceremony is silent. No words. There doesn’t need to be any. Everyone is crying. Everyone. It doesn’t matter if Edward was someone you didn’t like or didn’t go near to, his loss is felt by every molecule of the planet. Somehow, I stay together, because the Cullens, and the Quiletes, and my family, and my friends just are.

Finally, I am the only one left. The Cullens left me alone with him, and so did Jacob. That I don’t deserve, because the Cullens knew Edward far longer than I did. But maybe they’ll come another time. I stay here until twilight, remembering everything. My tears land on the fresh grave, and I imagine them going through the dirt and pattering onto the surface of the coffin. Here I stay, and when I leave, a big part of me is still there, withering on the surface of the grave, sobbing until I am drained and I too become one with the Earth.