Oh, Edward, I could never give Jacob or Marie up, but if you had come back to me, I don't see how I could have stayed with them. I love you so much. Even today. Even after everything. Even after you left me. Even after you broke me. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I will love you forever.

But I'm sick, Edward. I'm sick and I can't hold on much longer.

But no matter what, no matter when, I need you to know this. I need you to see this letter. I need you to know …

… that I still love you. I never stopped loving you. Even as I loved another, the love I felt for you was stronger.

Edward … Edward … Edward …

I love you.

Forever yours,
Isabella Marie Black

I was sobbing loud, heart-wrenching sobs as I finished the letter that I held in my hands.

She loved me. Oh, God, she loved me even after everything I'd done. She'd died loving me. She'd lived loving me. She'd loved me. I loved her, too, and I wanted nothing more than to see her, to feel her, to be with her, to hold her, to tell her that I'd lied. To tell her that everything I had said to her on that day was a lie.

"I still love you. I still love you. Oh, Bella, I love you," I whimpered, and I turned my head to the sky, wishing more than anything that she could hear me.

I was making a scene … but I didn't care. I was in the middle of the park, my arms wrapped around my body, trying desperately to hold myself together. Trying in vain to hold the pain in.

But as her words washed over me again and again — for I could never, ever forget them — I felt the dam break loose, and the anguish, the agony, the terror, the pain washed over me, surrounded me, covered me, buried me.

I knew I would never be able to resurface.

Bella, I cried in my thoughts. Bella, I love you. Bella. Bella. Bella.

"BELLA!" I screamed, and my voice was hoarse as I continued to cry out for her. "Bella! Bella! Bella!"

But I knew she would never answer me. I knew she would never come back.

She was gone. Forever.

I wanted nothing more than to die in that moment. I wanted nothing more than to just … stop existing. Because I knew I couldn't continue on without her.

I stood shakily to my feet, and I was still sobbing as I searched. I stumbled and fell. I stood up again. I continued on.

I searched and searched.

And then I found it.

Sunlight.

I stumbled into the warm ray of light, letting it light my dark world, letting it put my imperfections, my pain, on display for the whole world to see. I knew they would come. They always did. They would have known what I was going to do before I'd even done it, as they somehow always did.

And I knew, as I let the sunlight warm my eternally cold skin, that it was almost over.

Bella.