“I hesitated at the door to Jacob’s room, not sure whether to knock. I decided to peek first, hoping—coward that I was—that maybe he’d gone back to sleep. I felt like I could use just a few more minutes.”

I didn’t know what I was doing, my knees grew weaker by the second, yet I knew I had to face it; I had to make a choice, to choose between the two I had so dearly loved with my heart and soul. It didn’t, shouldn’t have made sense to me, not at all—what was there to hesitate about? What had happened to the irrevocable, undying love I had for my angel, my Edward? It was still there, no doubt, but there was this whole other part of me that yearned for Jacob’s love too. It was my utmost stupidity and selfishness that have caused all this, the pain I’ve brought to Edward, to Jacob, and least importantly, to myself.

Chapter 1

(BPOV)

Edward had promised not to step in tonight, to let me handle this my way. Although I was certain my final choice was Edward, I knew there was a whole lot to handle ahead of me. I took a deep breath as I felt the door knob turn under my fingers, opening the door to Jacob, to my other love, the one I should not have loved more than a friend in the first place. I knew I was going to back out if I let my cowardly nature taunt me for another second, so I let go of the breath I’ve been holding in and stepped into the room, closing the door behind me.

“Hey Jake, how are you feeling?” I tried to look calm, but my poker face fell as my voice broke. I knew it was irrational, but seeing Jacob hurt was hurting me too, not to mention the pain was inflicted on an attempt to protect me. Selfish, cruel, worthless me.

“Bella, I’m fine, and before you even start, it wasn’t your fault. I was careless, and Clearwater was being, well, stupid.” He glanced up at me with assuring eyes, an annoyed edginess to his voice as he mentioned Leah.

“Jake..” I winced. Leah Clearwater, I knew her, and she was one of the many who endangered her life to protect me. Yet here I was listening to my best friend put the blame on her while I stood rooted to the ground in my own little trance.