September 27th 2007 Thursday September 27th 2007 Thursday

16:08 -Hurrah, I have found a new job, well, not a really great flattering job, but I have to start somewhere, and my start was an assistant for a director, now this director I never heard of, but he needed an assistant. At first I thought I should decline it, but who knows maybe this job might lead me to another where I can have my own project on a film. I’m starting next week, thus I’m excited.

Fantasies about James: 3, Fantasies about a new work: 5, fantasies about an attractive boss: 7, times annoyed by mum: 2 (haven’t seen her a lot during this day), times I thanked dad: 5.

September 28th 2007 Friday

17:45– Rose invited herself over and had a little encounter (I won’t say fight) with mum, it was funny, and she was like “hey, good to see you Mrs. Swan” and then mum gave her that look that would say “get out of my house you bitch” and Rose was like “how’s work?” and she knows mum doesn’t work, she’s stays at home, invites friends, and visit friends, that’s practically her work. Mum just starred at her and said, “how’s work? Do you still have costumers?” now that’s something I wish I wouldn’t hear from other Mums.
”Actually I started paying them instead of them paying me”, that definitely shut my mum and she found another thing to waste her time on.
Rose saw me laughing from upstairs, she laughed in return and joined me.
”I swear I’m going to get a new apartment” I told her while we were sitting in my room, “as soon as I can get money.”
”so glad you found a job”
”yeah, I know it’s the bottom, but I have to start somewhere”
”right, erm, listen tomorrow Emmet is coming over and he’s bringing James, so join us”
”sure” I was excited.

She stayed over and we watched Pretty Woman, for some reason it made us try to listen to some opera music, you know when Vivian goes to the opera house and she gets so excited. Maybe now I’ll start to listen to the opera, I need something powerful to make me look at things differently.

Fantasies about a kiss under the light of the moon with James: 6, Times thinking about a fairytale like pretty woman:4, Times listening to opera music on youtube:1 (I think that was enough), times annoyed by Mum: hundreds.

September 29th 2007 – Saturday

22:30– Rose’s house is different than mine, well, first it’s bigger and second her parents aren’t pain in the arse like mine, sometimes she can actually invite boyfriends to stay the night, while me, well, I’m still a virgin.

James and Emmet arrived before me at Rose, and suddenly I realized how you can see the differences between both of them, I’m not saying that Emmet is not good looking, but it’s impossible to compare him to James that looks like a Greek God.

Last time I saw James he had very bright eyes, I know it was night then, and the lights at that club confused me, I could barely see anything. But this time Tom’s eyes looked different, they were so dark as… black.

That night wasn’t exactly as I wished it was, first James ignored me and only said Hi, he didn’t even asked me anything else, I tried flirting with him, but there was no use, he was totally uncomfortable.
”are you using contacts?” I asked about his eyes.
”no, why?”
”your eyes look different”
”are they?”

“yeah”

That was awkward, was he mocking me?
He completely ignored me, why? I thought he liked me last time. Bummer, why that’s happening to me?

James couldn’t stay late, he apologized and left after half an hour, he was so quit and just left.

Drinks: 10 cups, times I tried impressing James so he can look at me: 15.