i walked through my door, suddenly feeling really tired. i yawned softly. i tossed my keys on the counter thinking about raiding the fridge. no, shower first, i thought to myself. i slowly climbed the steps, letting myself sink into depression. i never felt so heartbroken. i knew if i let myself, i could cry for days, maybe even weeks. i was gonna try staying strong as long as possible. i felt defeated, like i had lost my reason for living. in a way, i had. spencer was the only reason i got outta bed in the morning, my reason to go to school, my reason to better myself. she made me feel like i could do anything. she was my smile. a tear slipped from my eye and landed in the sink as i looked in the bathroom mirror.

while i took off my clothes and put on my robe, question after question ran through my head. did i make the right decision, turning my back on our friendship? was that the right thing to do? i continued to stare at my reflection. i really did look terrible. my hair was a wreck, no make-up, my eyes were all red and puffy from endless crying, and the happiness that use to show in my expressions was gone now. i couldn’t believe all the pain spence had left me with.

i walked over to the shower and turned the water on. steam began to fill the bathroom and that relaxed me a little. i was glad to be here instead of sitting in class longing to hold spencer. i walked back to the mirror to grab my brush when i realized someone was standing in the doorway. i quickly tied my robe so i wasn’t exposed to the stranger. the steam had thickened somewhat so i really had to stare to see who it was. i inhaled sharply, immediately recognizing the beautiful curves and slender outline of spencer. what the hell is she doing in my bathroom?!? my mind screamed. i just stood there, frozen with shock.

"ash…" spence whispered as she stepped towards me. my heart skipped a beat as i watched her shut the door behind her. i moved backwards not totally sure of what she was planning to do.

"ash… please…" confusion overwhelmed me. i finally found my voice,

"what the hell, spencer? why are you here? how the fuck did you get in? don’t you think you’ve done enough? can’t you just leave me alone?!?" i was furious now. i didn’t understand her. what did she expect to accomplish by showing up here? anger, confusion and pain shot through my body.

"ashley… i’m sorry…" that pissed me off even more

"is that all you’ve got to say? you’re sorry? just forget it spencer, i don’t wanna hear it again!" my anger was erased by the hurt she had caused me. i wanted to hate her but i knew it wasn’t possible. she continued to advance towards me.

my pulse quickened and i could feel my desire for her building. she was barely inches from my body now and my back was pushed against the wall. i couldn’t move. spencer held my gaze. i could see the passion she had for me now. she wasn’t trying to hide it any longer. a small pang of relief hit me. spencer raised her hand and brushed the hair off my face. i took a deep breath, trying to stay angry at her. i couldn’t though. my love for her overpowered it and i was helpless. she leaned in, releasing my gaze to look at my lips. my pulse was pounding in my ears and i could barely draw a breath. when her full lips touched mine i lost it. i tangled my hands in her hair and poured all my emotion and love into the kiss. she had the same intensity and i knew right then that she had lied about not being in love with me. happiness engulfed my whole body. i never wanted our kiss to end.