Lying down beside her, Ashley folded her hands behind her head. There was a very intense look on Spencer’s face and Ashley knew there would be questions to answer and things to talk about.

"What now?"

"Well, Spence, I thought we would just enjoy the sunshine and each other’s company… but that’s not what you mean, is it?"

"I mean with us. I still don’t really understand all of this Ash. Why does it have to be so hard." Spencer’s eyes filled with tears and Ashley knew these were deeper questions than where their relationship was headed.

"I wish I could answer that for you." Ashley turned on her side and cradled her head into Spencer’s shoulder.

"It was really hard for me too. I think I cried for a week when I realized what it meant to be gay. And people like Madison don’t exactly make it a picnic on me either."

"I know there are idiots out there, but why can’t everyone just be free to love whom ever they want… that is… I mean, why are people so concerned about what others do behind closed doors, you know?"

Ashley threw her arm over Spencer’s stomach. "You will learn how to deal."

Ashley lifted her head slightly, looking into Spencer’s eyes. "I don’t suppose I’m helping much."

"I guess it’s just something I’m going to have to come to terms with on my own."

Spencer started to casually stroke Ashley’s arm with her fingers.

"I mean, I never really was interested in any guys, not in anyone at all really until the first day I saw you here."

Spencer dropped her other arm around Ashley as she spoke. "And when Aiden came up to me for the ball, and asked me to go to Gray that night… it sounds silly but I only agreed because it felt like the normal thing to do. He was so cute, and the first person to talk to me since I moved here… I just didn’t have that thing when I touched him. The thing I felt just by looking at you… I shouldn’t be telling you all this."

"Why Spencer Carlin, I think you might be gay."

"Me too. But what do I do about it? I can’t exactly go home and announce it like it is the best news of my life, but lying here with you certainly makes it feel like it is."

Ashley started to blush. "C’mon, it’s almost time for school to get out, better get you home before someone notices we are missing."

On the drive home, Spencer decided she needed a cool down period with Ashley. Time to make sense of what was happening with her, without the stress wanting to be with her constantly sitting on the backburner.

They pulled up in the Carlin driveway, followed closely by Glen and Madison. Well, Spencer thought to herself, she was going to know now that Glen was her brother.

Before she got out of the car, Spencer turned to Ashley. "I know we are just starting things between us, but I need a few days for me."

Ashley held a look of surprise. She sighed, realizing if there was ever going to be more between them, she was going to have to let Spencer have her space. "How about we say Friday at Gray and I’ll leave to your own devices until then."

"Really? That would be great, Ash."

"Just don’t forget where to find me if you want to talk before then."