“I got freaked, I saw a picture today from when I was pregnant, and it brought back all these old feelings and worries and I completely freaked, I mean I killed my last baby, what am I going to do to this one, I’m going to make a terrible parent, I’m irresponsible, unreliable, iv made so many mistakes in my life I will never be able to say no, you cant do that its wrong because I will have made that mistake myself, Spence I just don’t think I should be allowed to be a parent!” Ashley breathed out then closed her eyes tight and held her breath again, waiting for Spencer to pull away and shout at her.

“baby, what are you talking about” Spencer said pulling back slightly to look at Ashley’s face and worrying when she saw the lost, afraid look it held.

“Ashley, you’re going to make a wonderful mother, yeah you are irresponsible and slightly unreliable, but you loyal, loving, caring, protective, supportive, smart, funny, beautiful and completely wonderful. Yeah you have made a lot of mistakes and done some stupid stuff, but when this baby says to me, ‘mom shut up you don’t know what your talking about’ you can say fine but I do, you can guide him or her through it and help them not make those mistakes…” she sought out Ashley’s eyes and smiled at her reassuringly and was pleased when Ashley nodded her agreement.

“and i’m sorry, I never once thought about how this would affect you, I didn’t realise you still thought about your child” Spencer sighed.

“I try not too, but this just brought it all back, I don’t want to fuck this up Spence” ash sighed resting her head on Spencer’s shoulder.

“ok your not going to fuck this up baby, how many times have we been so angry at each other we have been ready to throw the towel in?” Spencer smiled.

“Once or twice” Ashley frowned.

“yet we never have, that’s because we love each other and regardless of what it takes we’re going to make this work, we are going to grow old together and live long happy lives, deal?” Spencer asked looking deep into Ashley’s eyes.

“I’m an arse aren’t i?” Ashley laughed.

“But you’re my arse baby” Spencer smiled kissing Ashley passionately, she pulled away and they held their gaze for what seemed like an eternity, Spencer released her hold on Ashley and grabbed her hands.

“Come on, bed time” she smiled.

Ashley looked around at all the dishes and sighed “we’d better clear this lot up first” she looked into Spencer’s eyes and noticed a playfulness lingering inside them.

“Leave it, I’m classing that as an argument therefore I’m demanding you take me upstairs and we have make up sex right now!” Spencer smiled lovingly as Ashley spun her around and pulled her through the house and towards their bedroom.