Failed Attempt

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The challenge:

1. the phrase "me love you long time" must be used
2. food on a stick
3. utility belt
4. cracker
5. animal of some kind

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’Surprise! No, that sucks.’ She clears her throat and tries again, this time a huskier tone to her voice. ’Surprise! Okay, no, this is just stupid. Just go in the house already.‘ Getting out of her car she walked up to the door and knocked lightly. ’No answer. I’ll just try the handle. Ahhh yes. They should really keep this thing locked. What if I was a robber?’

Walking into her girlfriend’s house, she heads up the stairs, turns the corner and pauses at the noises coming from the other side of the door. ’I really hope that’s not what I think it is,’ referring to the soft moans and gasps coming through the door. Then she hears loud laughter that is unmistakably her girlfriends ’Okay, what the…’ She pushes through the door to the sight of a beautiful brunette sitting in the middle of her floor with cartons of Chinese food all around.

“Ashley!” she yells breaking into the laughter and thoroughly frightening the smaller girl with a chicken on a stick dangling from her mouth.

“Holy shit, Spencer. What are you doing here? How did you get in?” She says jumping up fumbling with trying to shut off the television unsuccessfully.

"Sucky-sucky, 5 dollar. Me love you long time. Too long time."

“Okay, I came over to surprise you. Plus your front door is never locked, so that answers your questions. But I come up the stairs thinking that you were possibly in here with someone else only to find you pigging out and watching really bad Asian porn.” She makes a slightly disgusted face while stepping forward to shut off the embarrassing display on the TV. “Ashley what are you thinking?”

“I was-uh-um” she stutters and stops to clear her throat, “I was just bored and I order a butt load of food like I always do and started flipping through the channels and I thought that this, um, well, that it was fitting for my choice of nourishment for the evening.” She looks up and gives to most innocent smile ever before turning her gaze to her bare feet that are shuffling back and forth on the carpet.