I am sorry Xs a million. My sister got married at the end of August and I was too busy with that and the slide show I made for the reception then word somehow got erased off of my computer and I just uploadeda few days ago cause my Dad gave me the CDs. Plus I’ve been so busy with school. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I hope I didn’t lose any readers. You guys are the best!!

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“I – I wish you’d just stop running away Ashley! I want to pick you, but how do I know that you won’t just leave as soon as things get hard?!” I could feel my heart constricting.

“Spencer, don’t say that.” I pleaded. “I love you baby. You know that.”

“No! I don’t!” She suddenly started to move, like the idea just came to her. She tore the covers off and something about this moment led me to an epiphany. Maybe it was the way that my small tank top looked too big on her, how her arms and legs looked breakable, maybe it was the scared look you see from a child or the desperation puffing from her lungs, I’m not sure. But it was that moment when I realized that I was the adult: her protector. There had been too many times where I had disappointed her – she didn’t know it, but I let her down. Spencer shouldn’t be taking care of me. I’m not with her to take care of me. And the only way I can fix this is if I start taking responsibility for us.

I stood up surprisingly calm, walked in front of her as she freed herself from the mass of sheets and took both of her forearms in my hands. She twisted and tugged, but she was too weak to actually make progress. I gently but firmly pulled her into me. Locking my brown eyes with her wild blue ones I waited for her to stop. Eventually, her thrashing slowed down and I leant so far in that our nose rubbed. I angled my head, looking down upon her.

“I will never let you go.” I whispered against her tear stained face. “No matter how hard you fight, I am not going to let you go, ever.” She stared at me almost in a trance except for the light tug I felt as she half-heartedly tried to pull away. “Listen to me… You will always have me; I’m not letting go. I promise. So stop trying to get rid of me because I’m not going to let you down. Not anymore.”

“I love you Spencer.” I whispered quietly no longer sounding as strong. “I love you and I’m not going to let you hurt yourself anymore… God, I love you…” Silent tears trickled down her face and I brushed them away with the pads of my thumb. She leaned into my fingers causing our foreheads to rest against each other. “I love you.”

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The room had a blue tint – it was late. I held Spencer close to me. Looking down at her curled up form; I bushed her hair back gently. I jumped when her cell phone went off. I lent across her, trying to reach it.

“Warsh waz sa ashry.”

“Go back to sleep baby. I’ll get it.” I murmured lovingly. “Fuck. We so don’t need this.” I mumbled when I say Paula’s name flashing on the screen. Spencer began to stir more.

“Whatz wrong.” She cutely rubbed her eye and let out a little yawn.

“Your mom.” That immediately sobered her up. We exchanged fearful looks before Spencer reluctantly answered.

“H-hello?”

“Where the hell are you?”

“… I’m at, uh… Ashley’s.”