Spencer couldn’t forget her conversation with Ashley by the lake. She was sick and tired of her emotions being so torn in two. Her mind and family loyalties told her to hate Ashley. 8 years ago the brunette had started a chain of events that had ended in her brothers death and her mothers insanity. She should hate her, enough to want her dead. Instead she felt continually drawn to her, and in ways that made her even angrier. For two long years they had been together, and the attraction that should have died was clearly still alive, boiling away under the surface. Spencer almost felt physically sick when she thought of her attraction to someone who had done so much to destroy her life. Was she sick? Surely being attracted to Ashley was horrible. Just horrible.

And yet, she could tell Ashley had changed so much since she knew her. She was calmer and far more responsible. And then there was her relationship with Riley. Insofar as Spencer could tell, Ashley had given the girl everything possible for absolutely no self gain. It was completely selfless and an act that Spencer couldn’t fault. It suggested someone who Spencer would be proud to know, someone she would want to be friends with. Not someone horrible at all.

Worst of all, Spencer knew she couldn’t blame Ashley for everything that had happened 8 years ago. She knew plenty of the blame had to fall on her and she had been shouldering that burden for 8 years too.

It was starting to get way too much to handle.

She was silent through lunch and the rest of the day. She joined in the afternoon and evening activities, but everyone there could tell that she wasn’t herself. After fobbing off enquiries as to her health, what was wrong, and every other subtle question the group could throw at her, Spencer went to bed. Early. Ridiculously early.

She sat on her bed, already in pyjamas and knew she couldn’t sleep. She was about to get up and find something to do, probably something to read, when she heard a slight knock on the door. She waited, wondering if it was just the wind, until the noise repeated itself.