I yawned and looked over at the clock, I could see her looking over at it too. I guess she had to be home soon, and I bet her family was wondering where she was… not to mention…I was feeling really low and It was getting close to the time…I needed a little boost.

“ I should probably get going….you know…. Home work….”

She went to get up and I instinctively reached for her wrist and tugged her back down on the bed. She peered at me again, I could tell she was really confused.

Why did I just do that? Fuck…make up an excuse…

“Um….”

Nothing….

“What’s up?” She asked. My hand was still on top of hers. Her skin felt so soft. I rubbed it lightly with my thumb.

Shit….

I quickly snatched my hand away. She looked at me heavily, I could tell she noticed.

“I uh…wanted to just….well…thanks….”

She shook her head…that made it worse.

“For what?”

I looked at her face again, remember it was the same exact features that left me dead in my tracks this morning. How the hell did we get here in less than 24 hours? Her lips seemed so perfect…the way they pouted…I wanted to kiss her…I wanted to touch her, again.. I wanted to feel her….I wanted to fuck her…and that made it okay… that told me I didn’t have any attachment… just sexual tension. I could work with that. Its not like I haven’t felt that way before.

She was still staring at me and I was still silent, tied up. Stupid girl. Stupid Spencer. Stop being so hot.

“I… really feel like I can trust you… I haven’t had that in a while… I forgot what it was like to have a friend…”

She smiled again…her face was so bright and beautiful. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back.

“You can trust me. But I really do have to go home.”

I felt stupid, but I quickly recovered.

“Yeah, lets get going….”

I drove her back to her parent’s house, she gave me pretty crappy directions, but I knew it was only because she had no fucking clue where she was. It was a good thing I ran these streets, for the most part. She lived in a cozy looking brick house and I couldn’t even imagine what kind of all-American perfect family she was living with. I didn’t want to imagine it… it pissed me off just to think about it.

We stopped in front of the house and she opened her door and got out. Before she shut it, she turned to me.

“Thanks Ash, I had a great time…”

“Me too…”

“Alright, we’ll I’ll see you at school tomorrow……”

“Okay….wait…hey, do you want a ride to school?”

She paused, she clearly had to think about it..

“Um, sure…”

“Okay, I’ll be here tomorrow morning…”

She shut the door and I drove off.

This meant I had to wake up on early and go to school at a decent time. I’m pretty sure new best friend cares about her grades….just what the hell was I getting myself in too? This also meant not getting too messed up tonight….

When I got home I headed up straight to my room and into the dresser next to my bed.

I dug through it quickly and found exactly what I needed. I pulled out a little plastic bag filled with a white powder….

I scooped out a little and place it on my hand in between my thumb and index finger. Without hesitating I snorted it up. I took out a little bit more, then did it again. Then repeated the process.

I rubbed my nostrils. They felt red and irritated…but I didn’t care….In a moment I wasn’t go to care about anything…..no school, no mom, no dad….no ex boyfriends or people that hated me…. And no stupid Spencer….

Spencer….

Why was she the last thing on my mind…………..

I wondered why I didn’t tell her about my…bad habits.

They were habits after all. It was something I did, not everyone agreed with. Okay, so It wasn’t as simple as biting my nails or grinding my teeth… but it was just a thing….something I didn’t mind about the baggage it brought… now I’m hiding it from my only friend. We did just meet. It wasn’t like I had to tell her…even though…it was my life…

I closed my eyes, lying down on my bed and let my head clear itself of any thoughts. Everything completely vanished….everything went black.