Vanessa pursed her lips. Spencer could tell she was considering whether to tell her something or not.

“What?”

Vanessa looked at Spencer thoughtfully. “Spence, that night…the night you came back from Tokyo,” Vanessa hesitated as she saw Spencer flinch slightly. “We didn’t hook up. I took you back to my apartment, you kissed me, and…” Vanessa paused again, wondering if Spencer was strong enough to handle what she was about to say.

“And what? Vanessa? I always thought…We didn’t? Really? What happened then?”

“You were wasted. You kissed me; I stopped the kiss because I knew you were too drunk and I didn’t think it would be wise to go any farther – remember I’m sober when I come home from work. And then, well, you broke down…starting crying. I held you all night and you…well, you fell asleep in my arms.”

Spencer looked down at the bed. Her fingers grabbed the sheet nervously. “I cried?” Spencer mumbled, still looking at the bed, hands busy twisting the sheet. “Did I say anything?”

Vanessa sighed. “Most of the words you mumbled were incoherent. But occasionally you would say Ashley’s name.”

“Fuck.” She snuck a quick glance at Vanessa and then quickly brought her attention back down to the sheet that she was twisting in her hands. “Really? Hmm…I didn’t…that was the only time…right?”

“Spencer, you really don’t remember?” Vanessa attempted to take Spencer’s hands in hers and eventually, but tentatively, Spencer let go of the sheets. “You came to Eleven every Tuesday and Saturday, to Here every Thursday and Friday. I tried not to serve you that much…I tried counting your drinks, but somehow you managed…”

Spencer nodded.

“I found out later that you were going to the other bartenders. But, even with that…”

Spencer interrupted. “I, uh, wouldn’t eat dinner.”

Vanessa’s eyes grew wide. “You what?” Vanessa’s voice cracked slightly and then she let out a sigh. “Oh, Spencer…Well, those first two months… When my shifts finished, I’d just take you back and you’d…you cried. Sometimes you would mention Ashley, sometimes you wouldn’t. I would have said something to you, but you would leave before I got up in the morning.”