I'm sorry, Edward.

February 3rd, Sunday – 9:20 AM— Edward POV

“Where were you last night?”

I cringed. It was my father’s voice, right behind me. I tried to pretend that I didn’t hear him. I reached over and turned my music up, but within seconds, he had gently reached over and taken the earphones from my ears. I refused to look him in the eye.

“Edward …”

“Dad, I don’t want to talk about it, OK?” I growled, and I grabbed the earphones back from him before shoving them back over my ears and turning up the volume as loud as it would go.

I didn’t want to talk about anything, least of all my college choices. I simply wanted to sit here, and remember her face. I wanted to see her smile in my mind, and feel her soft skin under my fingertips. For I knew that, if she left my mind, and my thoughts, the slowly spreading feeling of emptiness would take over me.

But then my music shut off altogether, and I glared up at my father, who’s hand was hovering over the on/off switch of my CD player. He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look mad, either. He simply looked tired, and worn, and I suddenly wondered how much sleep he’d gotten the night before, and felt bad that I had been the cause of his worry.

“What?” I grumbled quietly, resigned but not happy.

“Where were you last night?”

I didn’t answer.

“Edward,” he sighed. “I’m not mad. And I don’t want to argue. I just … want to talk to you.”

“About what?”

I was still suspicious, but I allowed my father to sit down on the bed beside me. He clasped his hands together, and I sighed, biting my lip and leaning back on the headboard behind me.

“You’ve been drifting away from us,” he said, and his voice was pained. “Even Alice, and you two used to be so close. Edward, what am I doing wrong? Is this my fault? Have I been pushing you too hard? What is it?”

I frowned, and I wished more that my father wasn’t feeling the way he was. But what could I say to him? Why, yes, Dad, you’re exactly the reason I’m drifting away. You are pushing me too hard. This is your fault … But I couldn’t say that. I knew I couldn’t, because if he was in pain now, my words would only make it so much worse.