Fan Fiction
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Desperate Housedykes, 3
Now forced to sleep on the sofa, the same sofa she duct-taped Angelica to a few days earlier, Bette sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She began looking around the room; her eyes becoming transfixed on the stuffed Teletubby, yes, the gay one, now sticking out from under the coffee table. “Don’t do it, Bette,” she thought, “don’t get upset just because the kid’s toys are all over the goddamn house and Tina didn’t even bother to pick them the fuck up. No, today is a new day, it’s a new beginning; we’re not going to allow life’s little imperfections get the better of us anymore, remember?”
She mentally counted to ten and forced a smile. After all, how many people in this rat world are able to live her life? “How many people can say they have a beautiful home, a beautiful car, a beautiful wife and childwell, actually a lot can, but that’s not the point,” she told herself. She led a charmed life and damn it all to hell, she was going start appreciating it!
Her inner negotiations had lasted longer than she thought; so much so that she hadn’t noticed Tina clearing her throat for the fifth time. “Bette, hellowhat are you doing?”
Nervously snapping her head in Tina’s direction, she said, “Oh, good morning. I, I was justyou?”
Tina chuckled at Bette’s preoccupation. “Poor thing, she must be thinking really hard about where to send her resume,” she thought.
“I was going to put some water on, for tea; want some?”
Bette wanted tea, of course she wanted tea, “what a stupid question,” she thought, “and how in the name of all that is holy is she going to make us tea with that damn kid still strapped to her back. She tilted her head to the side and through a fake smile, said, “No, you probably have so much to do this morning, don’t worry about me, T., I can take care of myself.”
Tina: “Okay”
“Well, she sure doesn’t put up much of a fight, does she,” Bette thought, as Tina, without hesitation tore off into the kitchen. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Bette yelled out, “I have to run out this morning anyway. I have a couple things I need to do.”
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Hahaha…This is insane! I like this ‘My Name is Earl’ take on the L girls. Hilarious.
LOL Oh God Katey…we can always count on you to deliver the goods!!!
Calling the baby a thing. Not a very good start. The baby strapped to her back also. How in the hell do they shower and sleep. I would be running for the hills.with my duct tape. I,m a firm believer in duct tape and old panty hose. thanks