Chapter 9: Eric’s Jane

    I could tell that there was something Jane was hiding. I wasn’t an idiot. Just because she was blocking against my skill, I could guess it was about Simon, and frankly, I didn’t want to know. I wanted to kill him for being loved by her of course. Jealousy. But that’s exactly why I didn’t ever want to hear those thoughts, so I let it be. When I picked her up in another stolen car that night she seemed nervous, and looked more done up than I’d ever seen her. It made me worried just what she was actually planning tonight. Made me worry about how much I would do to keep her. I knew that it would take a lot for me to leave. Knew I wouldn’t let her have the choice, and that scared me. It scared me that it scared me. The thoughts ran around creating gray chaos in my long dead mind. That’s why it took a lot to be nice to the human at the table. Took a lot for me not to squeeze his week hold into dust. But I managed it, and I was very proud of my control. I thought Jane would be too, and I looked around for thoughts, knowing she was no longer at the table. When I found hers mirroring the scene with him, when I watched through her eyes flashes of red tinted images of the kiss, I couldn’t hold in the rage. How much was she asking of my self control, that she thought I could sit and watch this? In a second, unconsciously I flew there. To the scene where they were still locked. He had his hand on her cheek, the other on her leg. I could have killed him. I was going to kill him. Then I saw her thoughts, the guilt that was tinting images of my face. A face that wasn’t my face I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it. The face Jane saw was kind, not angry. Smiling, and full of love and warmth. I knew I couldn’t kill the human, so I just ran. I flew against the moist wind of the city, and didn’t think about anything but my senses. The feel of the wind, the direction, the temperature it would feel like to a human, the scents. I thought of nothing else, and that’s why when I smelt the human blood, calling to me through a lack of quenching my thirst for a whole fortnight, I didn’t think, only governed with my senses, and attacked pure animal the girl who was so easy to fling down an alley and devour the human scent I had resisted too long. Then I saw her life. This girls blood flew into me, and as always, something I’d never been more aware of than this moment, the flashes of her life, a quick entire summary of her thoughts in life came to me as well, as the satisfaction of the taste. I saw a man first, who clearly was hers. Her husband I saw their wedding, so boldly imprinted, saw the constant love she had for him, saw their story. I was choking on the blood I had desired so animalistic ally. I saw her kids, a beautiful boy of about five staring up at me with eyes she knew as her fathers, and her black-haired teenage daughter, sitting with her on the beach pier. The body went limp in my hand. She was someone’s Jane. Someone’s love. Only now did I understand the immensity of what I had taken from these people. If I could cry, I shamefully knew I would be. Her eyes, not yet closed stared shocked up at me, dazed, seeing what I was seeing. She was only half-drained, still alive. I could save her. I picked her up, protecting the life I now knew as well as mine own. I rushed for her cell phone I knew she knew was in her pocket. I dialed the emergency number and waited with her, trying to clean, the wounds, keep as much of the blood in as possible. Holding my breath, closing my eyes and picturing Jane as my strength. I had never thought I would need strength from another woman. Women were weak, evil, worthless. This is what I had known. No longer, I couldn’t do this with my strength alone. There was something more than the science and logic now. Something that defied the reality of my life. It was what was changing my life, changing me into someone who would protect this woman’s life, instead of take it without a thought. Then all I felt was being thrust away, and heard a snarling. A second later I recognized the scent of Luke, and crouched into the defensive position realizing a second late I was snarling. Luke laughed.
    “A little behind on your fighting huh Eric?” He laughed. I just glared.
    “Don’t worry, a student is never as good as his mentor” He snarled, smug in an offensive position
    “What are you going to kill me Luke?” I practically spat.
    “The question is what you are doing Eric. You’re setting yourself up for disaster. By protecting a woman. and loving a woman no less” his voice was disgusted now, and a little of his hurt showed through his mind, which he had been hiding from me.
    “Kill the girl and I’ll let you get away” he said, protecting his mind as soon as he realized I was getting in. I looked down at the girl, and knew I could never feel the hate and anger to take a life again. Even a small short lived shallow life of a human girl. Luke grinned a triumphant cat smile and crouched down into an attacking position, ready to attack me or the girl, based on my decision. For a moment I felt it again. The old anger came back. This woman had broken a heart when she left a dying man who loved her for her current husband. This woman was as capable as any, and look what Jane was doing to me now. Turning me into someone who saves women and doesn’t kill them. Someone who thought humans as more than just food. But then the moment passed. Jane was human, and in my current state, she would never be food to me. She was food to Luke. A low growl rumbled in my chest, and Luke looked at me incredulously.
    “Really Eric?” He said tensing more into the attack position. The ambulance sirens were whirling around us now, would Luke really risk a run in with the Volturi just to prove a point to me? Luke made a lurch at the girl and immediately I sensed his motive and blocked his attack sending him flying against the wall. I ran out into the public street, keeping my pace at just a mere fast sprint for a human. I ran her to the ambulance, praying Luke would not expose himself so much as to outrun my slowed pace. The ambulance lurched to a stop and as I handed her off to the paramedics I breathed a sigh of relief. And I ran. I’d never ran from a fight or from a threat before, but I ran back to the club where Jane was waiting with her Simon. Images of their kiss flew back into my mind and for a moment, I had to stop and breathe. Human emotions were so overpowering on someone who had the ability of senses to feel it all to the extreme. To a first timer too. Someone who wasn’t used to feeling much at all but raw anger. My anger was turned into a violent love now, and I wanted to use that violence to dispel all other rivalries to my love. But I didn’t want to hurt Jane. I was in the club now and passed by a mirror. That reminded me of my recent human half-snack and I felt the guilt as I knew I had already hurt her. Would she see through the contacts at the slight change of brown? This was the state of my feelings all felt so acutely at the same time, when I stood before a crying Jane, who had just kissed another.
    “Will you take a walk with me?” I said gaining composure, frightened she’d notice the change and run. Again.
    “Eric..” she said reaching out to me. She circled her arms around me and put one palm on my cheek. I closed my eyes. The recent scent had left me more vulnerable to her scent, and resisting even though I was half-full was still strenuous. I was also confused by her comforting me, because that was what she was doing, her frail arms seemed to hold me together, to soothe the emotions that threatened to explode me. I took her hand and we walked out of the club through the ba
ck door and I sat us both down on some steps in a deserted alley.
    “How?” She asked immediately.
    “I’m sorry Jane” I said, guessing she must have guessed, as her mind reflected my eyes with the slight reddish glow.
    “How?” she repeated, swallowing hard.
    “I…was taking a walk, I needed some air so as not to walk in on you..” I began cutting off then starting right up again so she wouldn’t have to say anything about it.
    “And I was thirsty. I’ve been avoiding the new diet you put me on” I said with a small smile.
    “A girl’s blood called to me and I drank” She inhaled and tensed
    “She’s still alive though, I resisted half way through” She breathed and looked into my eyes.
    “I thought I should tell you. But Jane…I’m sorry” I said.
    “Me too” she said, not breaking her hold on my eyes. “It was my fault” she said.
    “I love you Jane. I’m new to love. I’m new to these human experiences. I’m not going to lie about my feelings to your boy. I hate him, and I want to kill him for touching you. I want you to be mine. Only mine” I said leaning into to kiss the top of her head, and wrap my arms around her.
    “I don’t know what to say. I can’t say I love you again” she said, showing a picture of her telling me the first time, and then her betrayal afterwards. Then she showed me all the other times she’d said I’d love you. She wasn’t new to love. She’d felt love’s power before, in the maddening way that it was controlling me.
    “Let’s not say anything” I said, as she tentatively leaned her head on my shoulder, sighing.
    “I can tell you know” She said feigning nonchalance. I couldn’t decipher what she meant in the drunk state I was in of her touch
    “Hmm?” I said stupidly
    “I can tell when you…the way you feed” she clarified
    “You can see the red?” I asked.
    “So they are red?” she said surprised. I laughed with her at her contradiction. I guess she couldn’t see all of the red, just a hint of it.
    “Yes” I said.
    “And when you are good..they’re a sort of lighter brown with…sparks of orange or gold in them” she said, picturing the way I’d looked a week before this night.
    “When I’m good. Good.” I mused. “So you’ll be watching me then”
    “Always. You’re going to be a good vampire whether you like it or not” she said firmly. I growled playfully at her and ruffled her hair
    “Yeah?” I said leaning into her neck, I bit down hardly any weight, ever conscious of her frail skin, and didn’t break the skin, though the scent was almost overwhelming. She screamed softly and laughed.
    “I think I could take you on” she said. I chuckled and held her, sitting there as two shadows alone in an alley would sit.