Chapter 7: The Old In With The New

    Jane wasn’t scared anymore. And I wasn’t going to deny that made me happy. I was murderously angry at Luke though. Jane didn’t know the extent of her injuries. I had deliberately made it so. I had knocked her out for a good few days so she could recover painlessly. And so I could recover painlessly too. Another thing I’d learned about love, you can’t stand your love’s pain, even if its not your causing, even if there’s nothing you can do, and even if it is only a small temporary thing. I didn’t want her to see that weakness in me, so, I drugged her and let her heal. It was a hell and heaven of my own. Watching her face, for once undisturbed by fear or anger, or worry, was quite interesting. But it was hell living alone in the room with my anger. I didn’t move from her side, but I every few seconds, I’d have to keep myself glued down from going to hunt down Luke. God knows where he was, what he was doing, and what he was thinking. Whatever it was, I could only hope it was painful. Now she had said those words directly to me. I knew she’d said them to many others before, but still. It felt…it felt so annoyingly and painful good. Good emotions can actually hurt almost to the point of physical pain, and the mixture of hope, love, joy, victory and many other things I didn’t even know were emotions was almost painful. It was the same night, the night she told me she loved me, and we were laying on her bed side by side, just holding hands. She was still human no matter what she’d said or what I felt.
    “Why are you so cold?” she asked suddenly breaking our silence. Her questions were so spontaneous and obvious, I couldn’t help but laugh
    “Vampire remember?” I said.
    “Being a vampire makes…you cold?”
    “Yes it does” I said, trying to keep serious, look at it from a human’s eyes I suppose it would be questionable.
    “I was just asking” she said defensively. I laughed at the images that came into her head. Mainly comical pictures of me being like a woken dog, pouncing on her at the slightest poke. I took her hand and pulled her to me barely thinking and she looked at me with her wide eyes.
    “I’m in college for a reason you know. I’m training to be a doctor” she said still on the defensive “You are actually a fun experiment for a change” she joked
I pulled a fake playful grow and pulled her closer, so my mouth was at her ear.
    “Experiment you say?” I growled playfully. She giggled, not knowing obviously how beautiful the noise was to my ears.
    “Well,” she said playing along “I suppose autopsy would be the correct terminology” she said pulling back to look me in the eyes, smiling. I grinned back
    “Right. Have fun trying to cut through my skin” I said. The image in her mind of me on a gurney surrounded by various knifes and blue had her giggling again. Then her thoughts turned speculative, she was imagining the night I had taken her to the abandoned house, and thinking of that kiss. I sobered up, and she looked at me meaningfully, knowing I knew what she was thinking, but not knowing the words behind the image..
    “You don’t…touch me like that anymore. You used to be so bold” she said smiling “Did I scare you away?”
    I laughed. Wondering if I had felt this buoyant ever since my change. I thought I’d been the one to scare her away though. I had no desire of eating her so to speak. It wasn’t a thought. The strength I had to worry a little about. I wasn’t used to being careful for long with feelings. Not that my feelings for Jane were the same as all those other women. But that was all the more reason to be careful.
    “I thought that was me” I said softly. A dim memory of the night I killed Alexis came up in her mind, but not nearly as vivid as it had been. It made me wonder exactly how good she was at suppressing memories.
    “I don’t mind” she said in an unfathomable tone. Probably a mixture of nonchalance, sadness, and shyness given what I could tell from her mind. I lifted my hand to her face and stroked her cheek. It wasn’t hard to be gentle, because the motion itself was meant as a gentle one. She closed her eyes, a little longer than a blink, and opened them again to look at me. She was wondering if I was going to kiss her again. I smiled.
    “You’re going to have to get better at suppressing your thoughts if you ever want me to control myself” I whispered. She just raised her eyebrows but remained silent. I leaned in smelling her scent, unidentifiable to me, but vaguely reminiscent of vanilla, and kissed her for the second time. This time was different than in the house. I felt so much more, knew so much more, and so did she. It was a soft kiss, but her thoughts were swirling again, and I expected mine were too. I was too lost in her taste and smell. Intoxicated, I guess. Never before felt this. I almost couldn’t stand it. I pulled back. Letting her breathe and she opened her eyes and lay across me her arms around my neck.
    “Better?” I said. She just smiled, and deliberately showed her thoughts too me, the happy swirl of imageless feeling.
    “You tell me” she replied.
    “Better” I said.
Then her cell phone rang.
    “Ugh” she said not making any movie to get it.
    “Do you need help?” I said amused.
    “No. I want to stay here” she said. “The real world doesn’t matter now I’m in a fantasy right?” I laughed but reached over to the night stand to grab her phone. I briefly looked at the caller ID, curious. Simon. I refrained from a growl, but I saw my face harden in her thoughts. Simon was one of her previous “loves” and it did my bottled anger no help to see him even suggest thinking of talking to her. She looked at the phone, then understood. She sighed, but answered watching my face.
    “Hi” she said casually, but enough to show a little of her irritation. That pleased me.
    “Jane! I was so scared you weren’t going to answer. Last week, well…that doesn’t matter right?” I saw the colorful images, of what used to be her favorite park, and the sadness marked with the memory of Simon leaving her.
    “Of course not” Her tone and her words were so contradictory I had to laugh.
    “Goo..is someone there?” he said. She giggled but turned her back to me. I frowned and focused on her thoughts.
    “Umm..” was all she said
    “Okay. Well what I meant was, that talk can’t stop you from The Baltic Room right?” he said enthusiastically. Images of the place where I’d first met Jane, toned with emotions and memories. Now she was excited
    “Of course not. If course!” she said. “You know me” I narrowed my eyes. I was obviously jealous, but I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around her, deliberately in a way I knew would distract her. She gasped and turned her gaze on me.
    “Sorry” she mouthed.
    “Jane? If someone is there tell me” Simon said angrily.
    “Protective?” I said, not bothering to whisper. Jane rolled her eyes.
&nbs
p;   “I’ll be there tomorrow night okay Si?” she said, using his lame nickname.
    “Yay” he said “Can’t wait to see you Jane. Really. Maybe…well I’ll save it till I get to see your face again” he said
    “Bye” then she hung up and turned completely around to face me
    “Date?” I growled, not entirely playfully.
    “No you’re coming too!” she said panicked, picturing her and Simon alone. I smiled
    “Really? What if I have plans?” I said. She laughed.
    “Please? You know you being there would scare Simon silly, and I know you like scaring people” she said, still happy. I couldn’t tell if it was because of me or Simon, but as always with her, I couldn’t help but smile. She was right. Human Simon wasn’t going to say more than “Hello” to Jane.