I sat on the couch while Jayden played with some blocks on the floor and listened to cartoons on TV. I smiled at his smile … his dad’s smile, and mine faded with the thought. I can’t be mad at Jayden though, it’s in no way his fault that he reminds me of his father. But the two boys did have one huge thing in common – Aiden had once been the most important thing in my life, and now, Jayden is my life. I always knew that Aiden wasn’t going to be “the one” for me, but he had been the best I found. That became the reason we decided to sleep together; at first I was sticking to my choice of waiting until marriage and until I was in love, but once Aiden and I both had ourselves convinced we were in love, we took a step. We had been together for over two years by that time and thought that what we had was real – and it was. [In that moment]. Once we had allowed ourselves to open up to each other on such an intimate level, we were young enough to let it reoccur. It must have been a teenage-hormones-on-spring-break kind of thing because as much as I always enjoyed our time together, I walked away knowing that it wasn’t how I was supposed to be feeling.

At one point, after we had been sleeping together for some time, we let ourselves get carried away and I found myself pregnant. Aiden had been there for me and was ready to be a complete part of our baby’s life; he came regularly with me to the doctor appointments and he immediately started putting money away from every paycheck for the baby and our future. Aiden was the guy that every expecting mother wishes to have. The only problem was that I was spending more time with Spencer, [which for me really wasn’t a problem at all]. And while doing so, I was realizing why Aiden wasn’t going to be the one for me.

To cut a long story short, Spencer and I made the decision to try our relationship and Aiden was more than heartbroken when I told him the news. I had told him I would always want him in our child’s life, and I kept my word, letting him continue coming to my check-ups and things fro the first month of so after we broke up. I would have continued, but then I found out that Aiden’s method of coping came in various bottles and powders. I couldn’t risk having that anywhere around my family and told him to stay away from me. Things easily got ugly and resulted in myself, my child and my girlfriend all filing for restraining orders against him. That was my decision, I felt safest knowing that the people closest to me would be protected.

After my Aiden ordeal, I began spending much more time with Spencer – everyday I would find a way to see her. She became my support, my friend, and now … she’s become my heart. She brought my son into this world, and in return, I took her into mine. Spencer and I have been dating for almost three years now and it’s more than obvious to me that this is where I’m meant to be.