Spencer followed Ashley up the stairs. She was nervous, a feeling she couldn’t control as Ashley opened the door to her room and sat on the edge of the bed. She knew that she shouldn’t be thinking of Lindsay, and she felt like just the thought of her while with Ashley was practically cheating. But she couldn’t help it. The more she got to know Lindsay, the more she liked her. She liked her laugh and the way that she walked and even the way she pronounced certain words. Spencer felt like she could talk to her about anything and she had only known her for a couple of days. But then there was Ashley…
“Spence?”
“Yes?” she replied, her eyes meeting Ashley’s and making her feel instantly ashamed for her thoughts.
“Are you coming over here or what?” the brunette asked, her face wearing shades of confusion.
“Yeah, of course.”
Spencer walked over to Ashley slowly, stopping right in front of her and threading her fingers in her girlfriend’s hair.
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, Spencer.”
“No, Ashley…I want to be with you, ok? You’re my girlfriend and I love you. Of course I want to be with you.”
Ashley smiled and stood up to press her lips against Spencer’s. She could literally feel the blonde’s apprehension. Her arms hung still at either side of her body and the kiss was lacking half of its enthusiasm.
“What’s going on with you? What’s making you so distant?” Ashley asked, pulling away to read Spencer’s expression.
“Nothing, nothing is going on with me. I want this…I want you. Why are you so paranoid?”
“I’m not being paranoid. I can tell that something’s different.”
Spencer said nothing, her expression hard to decipher.
“I could be wrong, but I can’t help but feel like this has something to do with Lindsay,” Ashley said, biting her bottom lip.
“There’s nothing going on between us!”
“But do you want there to be something, Spence? Do you like her? Just tell me…please. I need to know.”
Spencer knew that Ashley’s suspicions were correct, but she still felt hurt somehow that she was being accused of having feelings for someone other than her own girlfriend.
“No…no…I…”
“Spencer?”
“I can’t. I can’t talk about this.”
That told Ashley all she needed to know. She collapsed onto her bed, feeling as though the world as she knew it had been ripped away from her. The entire time she assumed Lindsay liked Spencer, but she never worried that those feelings were being reciprocated.
“I just can’t believe this,” she said after a moment, finally regaining her ability to speak.
“Ashley, listen, it’s nothing, ok? I think she’s cool. I could be completely confusing that with something more. As a matter of fact, I know that I am. I’m not used to this, Ash. I’m not used to having to draw the line between girls that I like and girls that I’m attracted to. She’s a good friend and she’s a cool girl. That’s all. I was confused for awhile, but I realize that she’s just my friend…and that’s the only way I’d want it. Please don’t be upset,” Spencer begged, sitting down next to Ashley and grabbing her hand for emphasis.
“Are you sure, Spencer? That’s all this is about?”
“Yes…I promise, Ashley. You’re the girl that I love and you’re the only one I want to be with. I swear.”
Ashley looked at Spencer, studying her eyes and searching for truth in the tiny pools of blue. She needed, for her own good, to believe what Spencer had said. She didn’t want to lose her and the idea that she could want someone else was too much to deal with. Ashley knew that she simply wasn’t strong enough not to let her denial steer her reaction.
“I believe you…and no, I’m not upset.”
Spencer smiled and threw her arms around the brunette’s neck, “Good! I love you so much, Ashley. I’m never going anywhere!”
Spencer was relieved. As long as Ashley thought everything was fine, she knew she wouldn’t feel quite as guilty. Just to make sure her girlfriend was completely secure in their relationship, she quickly moved on top of her, their lips meeting in a scorching kiss.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“So, how is this going down again?” Lindsay asked as she sipped from a bottle of orange juice.
“Ok, Ashley is going to be at school early for rehearsals so we don’t have to worry about her. Her cousin is taking his car to the school and he offered to drive all of us.”
“So why aren’t we doing that?” Lindsay asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“Because, number one, Ashley says he drives like Lindsay Lohan and number two, he’s in love with Aiden.”
“Gotcha.”
“So Aiden’s offered to drive. Then the plan is to go get some food afterwards. See a movie maybe? I don’t know, we just want to celebrate because there’s no doubt Ashley will win.”
“I take it she’s a pretty good singer?”
“She’s an awesome singer,” Spencer said, smiling proudly. No matter what her feelings were towards Lindsay, she would always be in awe of Ashley.
“You really love her, huh?”
“I do. I really do.”
Lindsay adjusted herself on the top of her desk. Mr. Tucker was a no-show thus far and the class was starting to get a little out of control.
“I wish that one day I could have someone be that proud of me,” she said after awhile.
“I’m sure there’s someone that’s proud of you, Linds. You’re a really talented painter. Who could deny that?”
“I know, I know. I mean, my mom and my dad, they’re pretty supportive. But I mean, I want to date someone that smiles like that when they think about me.”
Spencer nodded, completely understanding the need to be appreciated.
“But then again, I’d doubt they would look as cute as you do when they do it. And if they don’t, it’s not worth it after all…is it?” Lindsay asked, running her finger across Spencer’s bottom lip boldly.
Spencer couldn’t help but blush, the tingle running down her spine was not going to be ignored.
“I’m sure that there aren’t too many people that deserve you anyway,” she said softly, losing herself in Lindsay’s eyes.
“I can think of one or two. But they’re taken.”
“What about Aiden?” Spencer asked, attempting to redirect the conversation, “he’s really into you.”
“You know, Spence, I was kinda thinking you’d figure this out on your own, but I’m not really into bo…”
“Maybe you two could go out on a date or something. You know, give the poor guy a chance. He hasn’t dated anyone since…well, me,” Spencer said, interrupting Lindsay before their conversation got too revealing.
“Spence…”
“Please? Give him a chance…do it for me, ok?”
“If you want me to go out with him that bad, I will. Now will you shut up about it, huh?” Lindsay said with a laugh.
“Yes! Ha. Thanks, you won’t regret it. You two would be so good together.”
“You think so?” Lindsay asked with a knowing look.
“Yeah, I do. Don’t you?”
“I guess I’ll see…won’t I?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“So what I’m saying is that I think Lindsay may be into Spencer,” Ashley said as she sat with Aiden in their third period class.
“I don’t think so, Ash.”
“Come on, you can’t tell me you don’t see the way she looks at her. She practically fucks her with her eyes and I don’t know how I’m supposed to just sit back and take that.”
“I’m sorry, Ash, but you’re just dead wrong on this.”
“Ok, prove it then!” Ashley whispered so as not to be heard by their English teacher.
“Ok, I will. She asked me out today,” Aiden replied with a confident grin.
“Who?”
“Me! She asked me me out. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Wow…I was just sure she was a lesbian,” Ashley said, clearly taken aback by Aiden’s news.
“I know this is a new concept to you, but there’s a such thing as a straight girl, ok? You used to be one of them in case you’ve forgotten.”
Ashley hit Aiden playfully on the arm, “Well, good. At least if she’s dating you that means she’s not into Spencer.”
“Spencer is all yours, Ashley. Just chill out and stop worrying so much. You guys are solid. No prob.”
Ashley sat back in her chair, smiling a smile of relief.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lindsay had invited Spencer over to help her choose an outfit for her date with Aiden. The house was empty upon arrival, but Lindsay assured her that the house would be pulsating with noise in no time.
“My dad gets home soon….then my sister…then my mom.”
“I can’t wait to meet them,” Spencer said sincerely, interested to meet the family of such a magnetic girl.
“They’re crazy people, but I love them anyway,” Lindsay replied, swinging open the door to her room.
There were paintings covering every inch of all four walls and a huge canvas and easel in the corner. Spencer was speechless.
“I’m sorry it’s such a mess, but you can’t say I didn’t try to warn you.”
“No, no…it’s incredible. Linds, you’re an incredible painter.”
“Thanks, now let’s look through my closet, shall we?
“We shall,” Spencer replied with a smile, following Lindsay over to a massive walk-in closet.
“What do you think about this dress?”
“I love it, try it on,” Spencer said, observing the long, flowing, Bohemian-style dress.
“Cool.”
Lindsay stripped down to her bra and underwear shamelessly, allowing Spencer time to study the perfect contours of her body.
“Hey, sorry. I’m practically a nudist, I forget that it makes other people uncomfortable,” Lindsay said, pulling the dress on quickly.
“No…I don’t mind at all.
“Good, now tell me,” the blonde asked holding her arms out and spinning around slowly, “what do you think? It’s cute, right? Be honest, I won’t get offended…unless you hate it. Then I’ll kill you.”
“You look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful,” Spencer replied, running her fingers over the silky material absent-mindedly.
“You think so?”
“Of course you do. You always look beautiful…always.”
They stood in deafening silence, both feeling and attempting to fight the connection that was so obviously present in the room.
“Spencer…” Lindsay said, her eyes gazing intensely at Spencer.
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
“I can’t,” Spencer said in a voice that she herself didn’t recognize.
“Yes, you can.”
“No, you don’t understand. I can’t. I don’t trust myself.”
Lindsay shook her head, making her way over to a trembling Spencer. Moving Spencer’s hair out of her face she closed the gap between them, her lips touching Spencer’s.